i just woke up and its 10 o'clock and the words "Robbies Fave Restraunt" and written in sharpie above my vage. Help me.
I dont think that drinking by ourselves on a saturday night counts as being "fun alcoholics"
I don't know how I'm boarding the plane tomorrow. I have my car registration.
If she asks the cat was vomiting before I fed it fried calamari
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Saturday at 4 is jello wrestling sponsored by the senior class council. That's why my school is awesome. Boom.
I NEED ANOTHER LEVEL OF CAPS TO EXPRESS TO YOU THE MAGNITUDE OF MY FADDEDNESS
I just think that exercising will really get in the way of my painkiller induced nap time rituals. There's gotta be a better way.
If you need to be the damsel in drunken distress make sure it's before 3.
This is my punishment for trynna have a festive time with a stranger. I always forget you can't get weird with one night stands
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
if a CSI technician examined our hotel room with a black light he'd think we hit the Pulse button a DNA blender without a lid
Its official... I need to stop being so slutty.. the guy I had sex with on friday delivered my jimmy johns tonight.
She broke up with me after I spent the whole day speaking in nothing but Marshawn Lynch quotes.
I have no reason to put on pants anymore. This is my new reality.
I don't get it. If he broke into Taco Bell at 2 am, then why couldn't he have brought me home a fucking taco???
she's 6'2. you bet your ass i slept with her.
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