watching jon and kate + 8 right now is like watching my parents split up
Just saw the pics you left in my phone. thanks for reminding me that last night was not a dream.
the three of them together have enough kids to fill a barney live audience.
I just drank Colt45 out of a champagne glass. I feel classy.
Colt 45 out of anything is classy.
I just had to google "How do I get semen stains off of drywall." I'm relatively proud of this
I'm glad you trust me to be your sex stat keeper.
Walking back from greek row alone at 3:30am in a child's kangaroo suit...not my proudest moment
Guess who is playing his new drum set when his roommate gets home to teach her a lesson about binge drinking to the point of being taken to the emergency room?
I mean I'm into guys with money but more into guys I'm actually attracted to
yeah i guess i'd rather he was hot than rich
wow i don't know if that qualifies as growing up but if it does i'm all in
If he can't cook well I'm just gonna buy a RealDoll and twenty cats and live my own fucking life
Do I go to spinning class and try to redeem myself from going drunk, or do I wait a week and hope they forget I fell of the bike?
I have the liquor shits and this time, it's personal.
No alcohol sales on Election Day. WTF? Today, of all days, I need to be splurged to to vote for any of these morons running for president.
Bro I just got a hand job playing tiny wings.. Hell yea
I'm gonna adopt her diet plan of secretly sleeping w a desperate ex... It combines excersise & loss of appetite due to guilt
Randomize
