Dear man in the lobby please go play whith yourself elsewhere
once she started licking the door on the stall, i got out of there and told her bf "this is your problem now" and walked away
Gotta love hanging with Nat. By the time guys realize she isnt going home with them, they've spent enough money and time to think I'm a good idea.
Why is there not a 'day after acid' genre. Or even a pandora station or something.
This will be amazing. Plus he's going to do a line of cocaine off of the other guy's ass.
Dude, it could be so much worse. That Dale kid lost a toe I think.
He just told me what he wants for his birthday. "a noise complaint" he also said he wants to be the cause of all the noise but he won't be the one making the noise.
She started telling me about this odd patch of smooth skin under her boobs. Not sure if she was hitting on me or looking for free advise from a doctor...
I mean, I still played with her tits for like 20min tho.
I'm running on 2 hours of sleep. Just spent 6 minutes staring at the back of my hand thinking: "I don't really know this that well"
Some nice lady just gave me a beer out of her purse. I love youth hockey
Where are you on a scale from one to wasted?
Like alphabetically I'd say a v
Is it against health code to come into work half drunk and commando?
Last night a drunk chick tried to lick me. If you are trying to lick the zombies, you are too drunk for the haunted house.
The last thing I remember before blacking out was passing that sobriety test.
Did that sound smart? Cuz beneath the boozy exterior beats the heart of a fucking scientist.
Randomize
