Pish posh, there's never a bad time to eat food off my body.
Well we can cross off dogs, dating sites, and real life as ways to help you meet a chick.
I think she kind of thinks she's better than us now ... please. I go to Michigan.
I had a new years resolution not to be a whore anymore, but I think I'm gonna wait till 2011
They were like stripper heels, except business stripper heels, the kind strippers would wear to court.
I'm so covered in bruises. God dammit drunk me. We are a lady.
Frats are adorable. They make mediocre guys think they're worth a shit.
...the American dream.
Puked in the trees at home depot, I told everyone it was fertilizeerr
I fell asleep on the air hockey table and someone turned it on, scariest shit ever when you're that fucked up
Found a girl that was gonna make out with 25 people for her 25th birthday. I was like #12. Made top half!
A blind man just put his face in my cleavage. I'm also crying.
My condoms might be a little big for you but hey, a big sweater is better than no sweater at all when it's cold right?
We will walk in fields of dick.
You seriously need to stop quoting those songs when i'm with my parents.
I just quoted part of the Pokemon theme song in a sext... And it worked
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed
Randomize