Remind me that when I'm pregnant, I should NOT post vaginal dilation updates on my facebook. Ever.
i just picked a peanut m&m up off the floor. with my toes. and then proceeded to eat it.
You said you couldnt get the condom on but "its the thought that counts"
he asked me to hangout with him...and his son
Yeah he's still asleep. I washed the blender out. He tried to make a ham-shake. Lets wait until after break to have that talk. I kind of want to see where this goes.
Well pretty sure I lost 3 of my best friends in one week. Remember when I said I wasn't sure if I was gonna be a better person or a more despicable one in 2012. Despicable wins.
Its the least I can do really, I mean, I did sleep with her husband...
I GOT MY PERIOD THIS IS A GLORIOUS DAY I AM TOTALLY GOING TO MAKE PIES TO CELEBRATE THAT THERE ARE NO REPUBLICANS IN MY UTERUS!
Best part of Friday afternoon drinking? Having ping pong balls thrown into my cleavage.
Buying a pregnancy test at Walmart in the middle of the night in the middle of Tennessee is not really how I imagined my 25th year on this planet starting out...
yeah well, its not like my astrogynecology class is teaching me what i need to know
im almost 90% sure there is no such thing as astrogynecology.
Stop acting like the Lucky Charms you're feeding people is actually ecstasy.
I'm disease and pregnancy free. This is an Easter for the books!
So hungover and decided to eat a burrito and a pot brownie for dinner, this is what adulthood looks like.
Just paid my weed guy with a check. I've got this whole adult thing down.
Randomize
