5 years of college and never once did they teach us how to respond when you overhear a group of 7th grade boys who are in your class talking about how you're definitely DTF
children are so perceptive these days... and horny
What do you call a girl with PMS and GPS?
A crazy bitch that WILL find your ass!
If it makes you feel better he went down on me when i had a yeast infection.
Whoever said that a man can only cum up to 8 times a day is a fucking liar...or was never on adderall
Dude give me 4 good reasons we shouldn't trade girlfriends tonight
Pretty much gone. He was in the backseat and kept whispering that his "toes felt like pigtails"
I woke up to him drunk-t-bagging me, saying "huevos rancheros" were being served for breakfast.
He showed up in booty shorts and no shirt and said dont laugh dont ask questions and give me a fucking final and no one in class said anything we just sat there speehless
Well I found out I was essentially dumped and replaced by a hipster and apparently offered a girl $95 to go out with me. In the spirit of the Olympics I will not be spending any time on the medal stand.
The instructions say refer to specific course material, but I'm in no mood to reopen this awful book that caused me so many lost hours of drinking.
Yeah FUCK THAT NOISE
So....I just took a paddle fan on high speed to the side of the head while getting head...still finished the job, good thing I'm drunk and couldn't feel it.
So woke up naked and found my clothes from last night in my kitchen with a half eaten quesadilla
I don't trust my subconscious. It sleeps with my exboyfriend sometimes.
You tried to lick the lightbulb and fell off of the chair onto my wife and gave her a concussion. Did i mention you were naked?
you'll kiss me after i give you a blowjob but you wont kiss me after I eat apple sauce? am I the only one who sees something wrong with this?
Randomize
