So...we accidentally left a bag of puke in your sister's room. Heads up.
ppl dont tell me stories about anal. apparently im not a tell-me-stories-about-anal kind of person
Dude, she knew her leg was on fire and she kept dancing. Bad-fucking-ass.
I had it in my eyebrows, my bangs, under one eye, and across both cheeks. Congratulations on the successful and elusive warpaint cumshot.
i was told that i was found face down in a plate of ketchup at the dinner table
koolaid chicken. i marinated it for 2 hours and roasted it on a rock in a fire. it was bright blue and raw. but that shit was tasty
Be proud. You give fat lesbians everywhere shower-nozzle worthy material for weeks on end.
this hospital has no fireball
She said to me, without hesitation, "make me an offer better than my sugar daddy and I'll go with you"
How hard do you think it would be to make a drinking game out of a Slip-N-Slide? Asking for a friend.
I don't particularly remember setting a firecracker off in my hand. No more tequila.
Weddings might be fun but they are not getting fucked in the wilderness fun.
No fucking Jell-O shots or meth. Those are the rules
We never leave a bad bitch behind. its a party foul..we'll find you somehow
I don’t want to brag, but vows, morals and will power are no match for my blow job skills
Randomize
