im drinking this country out of the recession.
If you text me again I will gut all of your stuffed animals.
We need to rekindle our bromance
we were going to warn you, but we veto-ed that idea somewhere between "this is the stupidest thing we've ever done" and "let's order a pizza"
Nothing like studying in the College of Communication to make you realize how smart you are.
the lighter is IN the bong. I don't know what to do
You do realize that you're sleeping with a man who is part of a gay harem, right?
The best part of last night was the women's softball game on the TV at the strip club
She needs sedatives and a leash
I beer bonged before it even hit 4 o' clock. Please get on my level homecoming style.
apparently I got pissed off that no one would let me spray them with a bottle of champagne at midnight of the new year. so I sprayed myself with one shirtless in the near freezing cold outside
Well, he hasn't actually seen me naked. Just my boobs... and the left side of my vagina.
Im going to hell I gave him a handjob on the plane next, to an old guy playing video games on his iPad, on good friday.
Does anyone remember last night? Because I still don't know why I now own a goldfish and a ceiling fan made of pizza?
your mom was just petting me...I am strangely comfortable with it
Randomize
