When I masturbate I pretend my dick is the slap chop an I'm destroying vegtables. Do you think that's a eating disorder?
I want him to get the hint. I sent 4 texts that only said "sex."
Apparently you can coat check a keg.
About to trim my pubes so if you decide to walk in, viewer discretion is advised.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Cock is NEVER random. You may quote me on that.
He went 'unicorn hunting' and lost a fight with a fence. That's how he ended up in the ER.
It's basically the same plan, only step one gets revised to "look hot enough that he forgets I fucked his roommate"
door buzzer is fixed. took shots with Latvian electrician to celebrate. nice guy. he is gonna bring mixers next time cuz kombucha didn't really cut it for him.
I was galloping around pretending to give birth to pbrs. I could have used a mask.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'll give you some choices for what to get me for Christmas. 1.You naked. 2.You naked 3.You naked.
Also my bed has glitter in it for reasons I do not recall
We had sex on his sofa while his friend cheered and threw bugles at us
You wouldn't put pants on to see my parents.
he's 22 and listens to dad music. if i hear one more modest mouse song i'll never blow him again
I always knew ther was a reason why we're best friends
Obvs our love of drugs
I like to think of it more as our love of curiosity
Randomize