whoever gets the blood i just donated is getting a shit ton of free thc
Hey kate, how is it?
sloppy...it's emily. kate just tried to do a keg stand. they dropped her. we're leaving.
I just had someone call me out on a walk of shame via megaphone
according to the woman who took my blood today, i have "party veins"
votings over. no more wacking it to anti christine o'donnell ads
I can already almost taste penis in my mouth
Don't make it weird, I don't think about you when I'm climaxing, it's just that I see you rooting me on.
Well I found out I was essentially dumped and replaced by a hipster and apparently offered a girl $95 to go out with me. In the spirit of the Olympics I will not be spending any time on the medal stand.
It's hard to judge what a reasonable amount of cereal looks like in the spaghetti pot. We're out of cap'n crunch and milk.
Only three months past my 21st and I'm done. So many life lessons in so little time.
I remember puking but I don't remember where. PSA: don't go barefoot around the house
Just please try not to piss Danny off, I really can't afford to find a new drug dealer again
My FitBit tracked the calories I burned during sex. Hello 2015!
Dude, he danced with the dog that some random chick was carrying at the bar. Then the dog jumped out of his arms and ran away. THAT definitely deserves a drink.
I just bumped into this random I hooked up with a few years ago at Steve's party. Talk about a fingerblast from the past!
Randomize
