I don't have enough holes for all these australians
So you have no knowledge as to why I am hearing loud repetitive mooing from next door?
last night we stole an a/c window unit from a frat. gonna be a great summer
Guess who figured out you can fit an entire bottle of champagne in a big Subway cup. Open container laws my ass.
Finally another gay clarinet player. They're surprisingly rare.
Yea I almost drowned giving a BJ in the shower once
My inner pteradactyl is also confused.
I WANT PIZZA BUT I ALSO WANT SELF ESTEEM
BUT LIKE WHO AM I TO EVER CARE ABOUT SELF ESTEEM
My heart wants him and my vagina wants him...to have a bigger dick.
Just threw up mid-poop. I can't drink like I used to.
I ended up snorting coke while wearing a Bavarian dress and I feel like I need to reevaluate my life
He updated Facebook... "Got a new phone today." WHAT ABOUT THE FUCKING KID YOU HAD?!
Having random cyber sex while watching to catch a predator just seems wrong.
im having flashbacks to my time in a waffle cult composed of 9 to 14 year olds
I don’t have enough daddy issues for this shit, make him go away
Randomize
