3 deer just ran past us on the street. At least I get to see some tail tonight
nothing says platonic group sex like a campfire and smores
I just farted in the dogs face to show him who's boss
I promise you I could read that dogs mind, he was arguing with the other dog saying he knows how fucked up I am
u know how some weekends you just wanna go out and ruin a relationship? this is one of those weekends
trying to line up a DD for St Pats Day. i guarantee i will put out. or puke and pass out. really its 50/50 at this point.
Time for jim to play the "dont seriously consider pooping in the trash" game
BRILLIANT IDEA: In honor of summer olympics we need to start a synchronized drinking team.
Go forth my little lesbian, get your gayme on
fuck that its my house. if i want to take 1 bite out of the chicken & leave the rest i fucking will. suck my dick
You guys go ahead and have your romantic night. I'm gonna keep my vday tradition alive of angry banging a stranger.
Woke up to your boyfriend in my bed last night. What's that about?
oh so have I but I'd still suck a dick or 20 in the name of freedom.
That's so awful of me. Instead of comforting her I masturbated in front of my ex-boyfriend.
well i blew him then my wife blew him, so im guessing we'll be seeing him around, yeah
Randomize
