Tell him ill love him long time
I'll assure him of it
I'm being pulled over???
For what!?!?!
??? I'm in a cab!!!!!
he said my vag tasted like ravioli n pennies... i forgot I was on my period
i just assumed he broke up with her because she wasn't a freshman anymore
I pulled my tongue muscle last night. your welcome.
making your facebook status TEQUILA is like basically saying "im easy tonight. feel free to take advantage"
I don't know the quality of the hand jobs you've received in the past but it CLEARLY was not one from me
I had to throw a towel over the bottles cuz it hurts to look at them
The object of the game was to pour tequila into a sombrero and drink as much as you can before it leaked through, 'Big Papi' won.
exhale infront of a fan. self shotgun.
Oh I'm sorry does your girlfriend send you better pictures of things in her ass? No? Didn't think so. Remember that the next time you wanna complain how I don't make the first move enough.
Ick. That's not even the fun kind of punishment.
I'm going to the store to get corona, salad, and blunt wraps...
She told us she had powers and that eating tree bark cures the shits.
My butthole is tingling. Must be the grapefruit juice
Randomize
