I'm glad girls dont get visible erections
But, it would have made life so much easier...
I bought the love spell lotion from victoria secret so it atleast smells like a girl is present while I'm masturbating
I've thrown up so many times in the third floor bathroom of Baldwin that they should probably just go ahead and name it after me.
It's ok. Rob's just shotgunning upside down.
This morning I got out of bed 4 HOURS LATE, made eggs with a plastic beach shovel, and then ate them using pens like chopsticks in my bed with my turtle. Obviously, I am not in the mood to be proactive with my life today...
You asked me to pick a color between pink and purple, and I said orange; you told me, "okay, that's a truth question". Then you asked if I had ever deep-throated a cupcake...I didn't even know what to say.
(This is the second time ive been high enough to decide to run for office)
I wanna fuck that hideous moustache right off your face. get the confetti ready for the festivities
fuck you and your stupid hot as hell face
GUESS WHO STILL HAS BOTH NIPPLES!
Was your bare penis on or around my blanket?
So I'm trying to figure out how to talk my boss into allowing pajama day once a week. Any ideas?
So this morning when I woke up. I found my refrigerator open and no more food. It was empty, I'm home alone for the week. Where in hell did that food go?
You don't understand. This boy has the Mona Lisa of cocks.
I don't think getting eaten out in a smart car behind a circle-k on my break by a guy I just met classifies as social distancing, but I'm beginning to love night shift more and more.
Randomize
