Rocking a Headband at the strip club, because of Rock of Love this shit is like their kryptonite, I smell like stripper butter and back child support.
they say celebs die in threes. leave it to billy mays to throw in one extra COMPLETELY FREE!
i just discovered a movie that charlize theron is a sex addict. i think my prayers have been answered
Tell her you can forgive her unacceptable behavior because her dad and his dog weren't married when they conceived her.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Woke up with my foot jammed into a VCR
Im down. Even tho your nick name intimidates my vagina.
Partial kegs from last night are currently in my bathtub, which leads me to 2 questions: 1. What are you doing tonight? 2. Can I use your shower?
all time personal low: room service guy going "You want french fries AND onion rings???"
I'm going to miss hockey season. It was the best excuse to get drunk on a Tuesday night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We're about to play the try not to vom at the president's house game...
I need you there. I need someone to glance at when other people inevitably annoy me.
Oh, don't mind me, that's just my vagina rattling.
They were so sore! Either I have bed bugs or you were biting my nipples last night and don't lie to me.
You grabbed my dick don't call me son
Got a $290 noise violation last night for shouting "THE KING OF THE NORTH" til 2 am
Randomize