he believed the zit on my nose was a piercing...until he tried to bite it. needless to say he didnt ask for my number
There was an audience eating triscuts and bananas in the bathroom while watching him puke. It was a good birthday.
guy at the corner shop gets out a bottle of tequilla and a pack of malboro light whenever he sees me through the door. makes me feel loved and cared for
I thought i'd save money with No Heat November but the amount of whiskey i have to buy to stay warm is probably adding up to more than a heat bill.
He kept pouting and saying i cockblocked him and I kept yelling "I'm sorry...but the cock was never out to be blocked"
What are you doing and how can I add sex in there
I wonder what chicks would think if they learned that when we add them on fb we email their bikini pics to each other.
His reasoning for leaving the keys in the ignition of my car overnight with the top down in an open parking lot ? Too eager to have sex. The sex was not that good for him to do this twice....
Apparently she has a 10 week old kid, which would explain the hallway effect I was feeling.
Ran out of plates, so I'm using my sociology notes. Looks like they will finally have a practical use.
You walked in wearing nothing but a beekeeper mask
Tell me why i'm looking through my medical records and the last thing it said about my labor was 'vagina was explored'!?
It's not my fault I make her feel like a Taylor Swift album
I mean she's doing calculus in her head to prove how NOT drunk she is.
They should invent shampoo and conditioner for sex hair. I would buy all the travel size ones.
Randomize
