ed mcmahon, farrah fawcett, and michael jackson all in one week. What next god, are you juts gonna take my penis too?
He was eating me out on the dryer...and his mom walked in with her laundry basket...
He wasn't the only one with a full load.
at first i was worried but she assured me her frail vegan body would have no chance at conception.
She just told me she's too full for a reach-around. Sad.
I don't think I'm emotionally ready for this blow job.
you wouldn't believe how quickly birth control dissolves in vodka
I need to stop treating my body like that of a Vegas hooker on vacation in Ibiza
I don't know what it was about last night, but every bar that i went to there was at least one girl there that i had done something with. I'm sure the girl that i went with knew because they all grabbed my penis and told me to call them.
Idk. The last coherent text said something about $25 & dimes. And then...it's just letters...
I posted her number in the m4m casual encounters area of Craigslist.
I guess her always saying "gay men love me!" will finally get put to the test.
I don't get hangovers. Except once. And there is a massively epic story behind that, involving so much alcohol I should have died, and 13 raw hotdogs.
You climbed out your own window and walked in the front door..
Monday afternoon and I'm still hungover from Valentine's Day. I think I'm winning at the single life.
FUCK. EVERYONE MAKE MY CONTACT NAME DADDY ISSUES
I currently hiding in an upside down garbage can please come find me
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