So i decided to deal with the awkwardness of last night by making out with all three of them
What tipped you off? The sombrero?
She tried to keep her legs crossed last night while doing a keg stand. Way to keep it classy.
there were more penises there than on chat roulette
After we fucked he shhhh'd me and said your welcome
We found you naked curled up in a ball in the closet, using a gorilla suit as a blanket
so apparently going to a christian rock concert dressed as Jesus is horribly inappropriate.
I wish on days I started my period Chipotle would come to my house with a burrito bar ... Then give me a chocolate cake and a large beer.
Growing a beard is gonna make smoking a pipe look so much more majestic
I'm so pissed theres no male strip clubs around where we are staying I looked extensively
I just need to get a little drunker before I realize I'm not straight
Remember that cop that blew me in the parking lot a few weeks ago? He's possibly with his wife and kids shopping at Target.
Success! We fucked roommates!
Good news!! I can adult!! 😂 turning down the strip club on a weeknight has become my crowning achievement ðŸ˜ðŸ˜‚
Never let the horse trainer ride you, always ride the horse trainer. I have huge bruises on my thighs from his hip bones. That's how hard he rode me
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