I have a drunk 6th sense to lyrics of songs i dont know. It only works when i dance..
After that we used the in-room hotel coffee pot to warm up some queso. it was brilliant
I haven't been this hungover since you found me laying in front of your door gagging with pepto bismal tablets scattered around me
Babe, I need to be clear. I DO NOT WANT TO HAVE ANAL. Never. No anal. No "talking about it"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I told her she can't come to our bonfire because she throws up on herself & she has a mustache. And now apparently I'm a bitch or something.
its ok, the prom king gave me his crown to puke in
my dad is now demonstrating how to start a fire with a tampon. happy fucking new year!
Almost just stuck my dick in my bong for no reason
Woke up with two different flip flops on sum burnt at the beach. Who are these French kids plz come back
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Last night I said "I'm so glad you broke up with your lesbian soccer mom girlfriend" I don't remember how he reacted I just remember trying to pee in the woods
You peed in my kitchen, while crying and insisting my floor was a toilet.
Good news my life of crime finally paid off
Why do I know about what dicks have been in your mouth but didn't know you had a dog? What kind of friends are we??
Think i may just have managed the saddest high-five in history. Finished a sudoku and high-fived myself, then looked around for somebody to high five. there was noone. forever alone.
She has my name on her bucket list. I’m either getting laid or killed
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