she was wearing a cheetah print one-piece and i slept with her anyway. big mistake.
my weekend in 10 words or less: hot friend of a friend, open bar, beach house, sore. In that order too.
turns out gay frats are just like normal frats, only with more v-necks
Her divorce is going to cut into the amount of time we spend fucking.
I'm in awe of how selfish that is.
Most sexually ambiguous night of my life. Kept switching from the NBA finals to the Tonys.
Im surprised putting the throwing knife "dartboard" next to the door didnt end up worse
That's your penis' name. I've always referred to it as Alejandro secretly.
Best part? I know that the likelyhood of this turning into an intimate relationship is like 4.25%
I mean I don't object to weird looking penis as long as it gets the job done. I just need to get it in. I'm gonna be humping chairs soon.
I'm not sure if it was the 11 shots or your naturally vibrant personality but I recall you being quite noisy that evening
Also, I saved your name as Everclear last night. No idea why I did that.
I just gave my mom some ones that look like they've probably been in some strippers cooter. Oops.
Haha. Just tell your mom not to smell them
Hey mom, most of this money I'm giving you is in ones. Don't ask why and whatever you do don't smell them.
Sounds legit to me.
I think we need to dedicate ourselves to building your stamina back to uterus breaking level
It's a mix of hot dirty sex and week old bong water
Do you know how difficult it is to masturbate with Christmas carols stuck in your head?!
Randomize
