it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
If my vag had twitter, what do you think it would say?
The pink midgets playing hockey is the EXACT reason cold meds and alcohol do not mix. Period.
I asked what she wanted from Hawaii. She said a baby like Aaden from JK 8.
where am I supposed to find one of those?
So Ive decided I have serious issues. Im walking around the school with a bag labeled booze money collecting from people while slightly hungover at 8:20 in the morning, and nobody is questioning me.
She's been divorced three times and use to raise cock fighters. Of course I'm interested in her
2010 has been the year of the Eskimo brother. Let's see how many igloos we can shack in next year
No if my life depended on you fingering me just let me die
I have to be more responsible. I've dropped three lighters into my bong today.
You were literally hanging out the window and dancing to the remix to Ignition when we drove you home
Just put me in your contacts as coyote
Yeah well I just had an orgasm on my bathroom floor so there's a first for everything I guess
The closest thing I've had to an orgasm lately is sneezing nonstop from fucking allergies.
If a weird guy texts you in the near future asking if you are satan just go with it
If I get my period the weekend your parents are gone i'm removing my uterus.
Randomize
