paul mccartney is starting to look like angela lansbury
so tomorrow. i'm thinking coinstar then adderall?
I've been emailing with a woman. I don't think she's into me, but we've become sorta email buddies. I'm hoping to meet her because on her profile she states she's into 'fisting.' Frankly the thought kinda freaks me out but I'm dying to see what kind of woman is 1) into that and 2) admits it upfront.
Drank beer out of a hotwheels bucket all night
all her text said was "asdfhdaufhudshfuds" and i knew that meant come over
I feel like a great embryo-shaped weight has been lifted off my shoulders.
Also, the wait staff kept prematurely clearing my Manhattans. Not sure if it was an oversight or a hint.
I'm afraid you are becoming too bourgeois with your switch from boxed wine to bottled.
What kind of costume was that supposed to be??
I'm an orgasm trader!
I chased him for half a mile, lost him then somehow ended up at his house. Is that still considered stalking? I WAS drunk.
One day i'll wow you with artfully trimmed pubes.
UHG. i just want to have hot lesbian sex and eat pizza with you.
I accepted my type is not "conventionally attractive" when she asked me "Him? Are you sure?" 5 times in front of him last night
woke up with 4 bruises, 2 hickies and a bad case of rug burn. texans are dangerous.
Did he pick you up in a mini van?
Yes. Turns out my sugar daddy is about to be an actual daddy
Randomize
