I don't get it.
Me neither.
But I masturbated to it anyway.
I want to get so wasted that I make middle aged irish men look like mormon girls
I tried to convince the Lobo Card people to take my pic with my sunglasses on because I will probably always be this hungover.
You know what's fun. When your getting a new mattress and you forget you put your vibrator under your old mattress and the moving guy finds it
He is sitting on the foor in the soup aisle saying "to each their own soup"
turns out putting a tie on my unicorn onesie didn't make it acceptable "formal wear" and I found salsa in my cup holder
we're the same shoe size and he owns more pairs of heels than i do. this could be the beginning of a beautiful friendship
Hit on in the middle of a Wal-Mart McDonald's by a really awkward nerd. There is not enough nope in the world.
i need to stop establishing animals as safe words. Giraffe and Penguin are really awkward words to say during sex
Are u guys proud? I puked my brains out last night at a strip club. While my two fave strippèrs held my hair
WHEN JENDA BENDA THE DRAG QUEEN TELLS YOU TO RUN, YOU RUN, BITCH!!!
I lost Mario kart three times but I got laid so it wasn't the WORST night I've ever had.
Whatever, ill dance on the bar at applebees, don't try and act like you're above it.
he said to "slap him" after he guessed the time correctly. i did.
He has an 8 pack! HE HAS AN 8 PACK!!!!
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