Just did shrooms. Don't feel shit! Wsasted 40 bucks on this! Nothing's happenig except for this little gnome on my shoulder and the couch is melting. Fuckin waste of money.
Someone sharpied 'shit show' on my tits. Someone with excellent penmanship
I feel like I should limit myself to one meal prepared from a box per day
It's called penis withdraw. Or alcoholism. I get them confused these days.
It's safe to say that our attempt at trying to fuck in the grand Sierra elevator was a bad idea.
...Saturday night. Get your dick ready. We are going to go nuts. I want to have sex fucking everywhere.
We're doing it in the traditional way of discussing why we dislike each other while sharing a bowl. Just like the natives do.
after we were done she whispered to my dick "you sir, are a genius"
I guess all those years with her as your babysitter finally paid off.
Is it possible to rally from a drunken seizure?
Their first impression of me was that I was completely naked. So yeah college hasn't even started yet and I'm already that person.
He kept telling me that it stood for Sex Utility Vehicle
I'm eating year old chocolate from the trash can. It was in a ziploc bag but still, this is a new low. Help me.
Id like to submit an apology whenever you feel like talking.
Its not gonna be for awhile Im not a very forgiving person especially since you TOTALED MY FUCKING CAR.
Today, this cop risk his life to save me from a sink hole but all I could do is laugh, I was so stoned
when they cut me off i played the entire Justin Bieber playlist and left for another bar that didn't think i'd had enough to drink
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