Sooo i definitely have a major burn on my chin from kenny's ...stubble from making out for hours while coked up. Pure class.
Idk. We dropped acid and Kevin ran away again. We didn't find him for like 3 hours.
Man I wish I had been there
Yah we found him in the pool shed of some elderly couple. They were on the porch watching all of the shenanigans. ...To be young again.
Haha Tomato, Tomato. That doesn't work very well via text message.
when we woke up the fish was dead lying next to us on the bed. wat should i tell her
I made him recite stats from the playoffs game last night before I would go down on him.
I think the solution to your phobia is an open relationship with your dildo. about the same responsibility as a pet rock
Woke up with your brother in my bed...where do you want me to return him?
I also turned off the Anchorman DVD start menu before cause I didn't want Will Ferrel watching me lose my virginity.
Just got back from the tanning beds. I'm a lobster. I fear for the safety of my nipples falling off.
Drive by water balloon fight on $500,000 boats ended when someone threw a dildo
You're 34. You can't make guys wait till the third date anymore. Step it up!
IF THE GUY WHO I AM BORROWING OUR CAR FROM FINDS ONE CONDOM OR JIZZ STAIN IN THIS CAR HE IS GOING TO CASTRATE MY ASS. SERIOUSLY, DON'T FUCK IN THE CAR.
I mean...he danced with his dick still inside of me. What more could a girl ask for?
TJ is going to paint me in a Patriots Jersey he can paint you in an eagle jersey. Did this last year and got so much dick.
Turns out that fresh outta jail dick is quite something.
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