Watching a deaf couple have an argument in the mall. Can't bring myself to look away.
do you know what somber means? it's kinda the opposite of a kegstand
he matches the description of mystery hookup #2, 4, and 7
Im not gonna remember this tomorrow but the real money is in coke i wanna get a dark wood desk and cell coke then i can own taco bell and the xxl chalupa will be mine
Have introduced beer-pong to my work's Tuesday lunches.
im not sure. I kicked him in the ear last night trying to kick a plastic cup off his head to prove I can kick higher than anyone.
And on that day, Satan said; "Let there be the friend zone and let us get fucking high." while Jesus silently cried in the background.
So apparently we wrote "Lube Shopping" in Paula's diary on every friday for the rest on the year....
can we take a moment to remember my theory on 'your tongue is a snake that lives in your mouth' because we reached a whole new level of high
And then he said, "let's have sex and I'll send you home with enchiladas."
Well I'm over here squandering a fabulous hair day and radiant complexion
Today's goals: get day drunk then sober up in time for the walking dead tonight.
I managed all three standard threesome configurations a female-bodied person can achieve in just under nine years. I want to high-five everyone involved, but I've lost touch with a couple of them
he pulled my tampon string out with his teeth like a grenade pin yelling frag out! That's why I fuck guys back from deployment. They'll go the distance
As long as there is beach, drink, dick, in that order. I’m in.
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