new midget porn idea. Wizard of Jizz: Munchkins Revenge
New beer pong partner names "Bus Boys" ... We clear tables
So we are lighting beer bottles on fire and breaking them in half to make glasses
That sounds dangerous
Don't worry......were wearing oven mits.
I think I have internal bruising from those poses we were doing last night. My own ribs hurt me. I don't understand.
We are going all out this weekend. My liver is already smiling.
I was desperately holding on to my sandwich while we had sex.
A horseman, i repeat, a man on a horse downtown just told me i was gorgeous and my friends were not. Not drunk enough.
What part of "he tried to put his dick in my ear" did you not understand??
Hey nothing wrong with those! I can't believe the guys who let me see where they live on first dates. Even more surprising, I don't stalk them after they've done me wrong.
I don't know bro. If a girl makes you cum hard enough that you pull a back muscle, she might be the perfect one to call for a massage on said muscle.
There is no way to say this. Dude, I peed your bed. No questions, no answers. My flight leaves in 30 minutes. Use my detergent. Also, THE VODKA IN THE FRIDGE IS YOURS.
I'm taking pictures of my asshole to send to my boss. This is not what I had in mind the day after thanksgiving.
If you're with any of them tell them i apologize for (insert whatever i did here)
Cookies and nudity, all you need in life
i know were having a "heart to heart" right now, but does it make you feel uncomfortable that im sexting someone right now?
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