hey can you give me head? jesse told me that you're really good
who is this?
jesse's little brother
then she came back into the room with a neckbrace on. i thought she was getting ready for the pounding of a lifetime.
Whatever. They have the same name, so it's not even cheating. It's brand loyalty.
he kept whispering yes yes yes yes the entire 15 minutes. i almost wish it was a quickie.
You puked in the drive thru of Taco Bell. You puked as it was being handed to me. You managed to yell out "FIRE SAUCE" in between hurls.
there was a trail of blood coming out of one of the bathroom stalls. thought of you
You told me to pour the Gatorade on you "like Flashdance"
by "whatever happens, happens" i meant "we are totally hooking up again on tuesday." i thought that was obvious.
i know i said i'd always be there for you, but i'm beginning to think that what you call "being there for me" the american judicial system calls reckless endangerment.
I think this girl gave me a handjob thinking that I would help her with her cell phone bill
omg. that's awesome
I need to pack up my vagina and leave. We only do bad things together.
I think Facebook knows you fucked me. All of a sudden I get everything you do in my news feed.
Don't forget Giraffe in your car! If we show up in the same outfit without animal heads we're just gonna look weird.
Remember that time you puked in the middle of wendy's?
Yeah, why?
The staff still remembers me for cleaning it up. Thanks for the free frosty and fries
I would cock slap so many things if I had a cock.
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