I think we need to take a brake
What upsets me the most about that is that you spelt it 'brake'
Hot mess moment: I just made really spicy guac and picked my nose, which set it on fire. I tried to neti pot it with a coffee pot, which resulted in me gagging and puking all over my bf's bathroom. oopsie.
I just punched cris angel in the balls. I have photos.
my mom just wingman'd for me at a bar. i really don't know what else to say.
We broke two of his toes while having sex. He laughed said he'd fix it in the morning and kept going. I think I'm in love
I need to have sex with you on our hotel room window ledge... This is a need not a request.
the party we were at had security guards carrying paintball guns. that probably should have been the first sign
We made the bar tender tell us how he proposed to his girlfriend. In detail. While we made gushing noises. We are embarrassments to females everywhere
Well at least ssomeone is or the state is tafing over ir in twligiob
I fell asleep while eating jimmy johns last night and then woke up at 5am and continued to eat it
The highlight of the night was definitely when you starting telling ppl you could shapeshift and "proved" that by stripping.
She was trying to be sexy well putting on my condom with her mouth when her cat pounced from the corner of the room witch caused her to gasp and inhale the condom
It was probably bad to sleep with someone just to pet his dog right?
He's a waste of a perfectly good penis.
MY TITS JUST CAUSED A CAR ACCIDENT ON THE HIGHWAY! i kid you not!! i thinl the giy is actually dead
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