jackpot. dress really slutty so he knows you mean business
fuck your aforementioned shoe
Look what our sorority has done to us...we're hitting on girls in hopes of getting an awesome little.
Mark my words im gonna be the drunkest groomsman outta spite for him having his wedding on a gameday
Can we get blazed at 9:06 on sunday and reenact the moment of my birth?
I get to be your mom.
she is legit wearing a plastic bag around her neck as a necklace. she says it serves two purposes.
Oh yes. Made out with a grandmother..... she had fake boobs and it was 330am. That makes it okay.
Mardi gras at its finest.
White people are beatboxing! Save me.
There's holes in the drywall and the beer pong table is a broken door on two barstools. You know they like to party.
id one day like to live in a world full of emotionless and wonderfully fullfilling sex...
Really though. It's your life, live it how you want
And I do mostly. Which is why I'm now drunk in my room writing erotica
You're breaking my sexual little heart
Ryan. I woke up. At the neighbors house. And by the neighbors. I mean the ones to the north. The ones that hate us. Please call me. I am so confused and you are gone
At the neighbors house?! Like in it or outside???
In it on the fucking couch. No idea how i got here.
dude idk where I am. fuckin like. there wheat field and a horizon and shit. I think I got on a bus? some dude named Sam gave me a pamphlet about Jesus.
Okay everything with a penis is officially dead in my eyes
Randomize
