He yelled GOOOOAAAALLL when he came.
someone shit in a solo cup and left it at the base of the stairs. fuck orlando dude.
he was so drunk I had to hold him up and he started crying when he heard an ambulance siren and said "is that for me?"
You should probably wake up already as I have yet another story for you. Teaser? Blood from knife wound. Tequila. Guitar hero. Kitchen counter. Lawyer.
shes trying to book us all flights to Ireland..I let her get mine and yours but stopped her when she tried booking the guy next to her at the library
Call me next time you want to get irresponsibly drunk when we have grown up things to do the next day.
Pretty sure that I got the MVP of wedding reception... woke up on the bench in the hallway of a hotel and we did NOT start the night there.
This ER has an aquarium in it!!!
You christened everyone with a powdered doughnut and then tried to absorb vodka with your nipple.
Until they make a bed that bathes you in your sleep, I will not be satisfied.
It's astonishing how many Ludacris lyrics you know
Why are friend nudes not more of a thing? My tits look awesome right now.
he told me he didn't like my name so he was going to call me Casey instead
I shaved my asshole for this. That's real dedication.
Chaz got drunk and passed out so we superglued a kazoo to his mouth. Listening to him Panic when he woke up was fucking hilarious.
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