Just had another dream about being on Real Chance of Love. I think it's a sign.
i went to go through my sent box of drunk texts from last night and they were all deleted... i'm going to assume drunk me made the executive decision that sober me would be better off not knowing what they said
My piss changed color midstream. Think that means I have a 50/50 chance of passing the test?
I froze in his sixty one degree room but i came so hard. Like fucking the eskimo god.
Ihop lady gave me free pancakes for being sober this time
We really need to check into harvesting part of our liver now
I can't look at him without thinking about his cum face
I just entered us to win a trip to Vegas for spring break. GET YOUR VAGINA READY FOR THE ULTIMATE DICK HUNT!
I walked from the hotel to the club with a pint of tequila in my boot. Poured some in a homeless woman's mouth when she asked for change. I've hit rock bottom.
And I think your bro would be happy to know that when I took my bra off like 10lbs of confetti fell out. It was like my tits were celebrating being free
There's just no proper way to thank a man for that many consecutive orgasims.
Thx for last night. I've never had so much fun while being told my life decisions are questionable at best.
I'm not saying I'm planning to hook up tomorrow but I'm also not saying I'm unprepared for it
DON NOT, UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES WATCH CLOWN PORN.
We've been together for 10 months. These next 2 may be a deal breaker. He has not met the summertime version of me that is so hungover today that I cancelled a meeting with my boss right after she sent me an appreciation note saying I have great work ethic. I have her fooled.
Randomize
