i wonder why nobody wants to date me...im doing a crossword at work and asked out loud: whats a 4 letter word for 'a reason to get married?'
i was like PREG?
the real housewives of new jersey finale is tonight. it makes me wish we had pot.
i need a lesbian romance or unplanned pregnancy for some spicein my life.
He just found another high guy at wal-mart. There now friends. His friend is eating a cupcake
I don't know ur idea of a good first date but I'm pretty sure it shouldn't include him holding my hair while I puke in the street
bro, sorry for: trying to put you on fire yesterday, telling the bouncer that it was you that broke the bottles, and to have slept with your sister.
I don't know if I should be scared or excited that I can officially drink vodka on the rocks like it's 7up.
I just realized I turned down a booty call too. To make cheesecake. God help us all
I started rolling down the window so he pulled into a gas station and i puked all over the side of the car while some dude stared at me. I waved and we drove away
He spelled Steven with "ph", needless to say my nose was almost bleeding from the amount of axe he was wearing.
You were drinking whiskey from a beer bottle i dont know what you really expected...
My parents are paying for my knee surgery for my birthday. What costume will look good on crutches for my Halloween Birthday?
Welcome to adulthood.
I just did a walk of shame on my own block. one of the old neighbors saw and greeted me "good morning, girl next door"
I rocked his world in the back of my car in an overly-lit, heavily trafficked parking lot. Middle age is amazing!
These girls next to us are doing shots called bath salts. Sadly this is the classiest bar I've been to since i moved to PA
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