You wouldn't stop asking the hibachi cook if his knife was a hattori hanzo
Swear. I think after passing out in a community college parking lot I can safely nominate myself for the piece of shit of the year award
Well hey if hot cowboys are involved then all bets are off.
when the police officer said he was gonna take a picture of the car accident, you asked if you should pose on the hood
I couldnt bring myself to steal alcohol from my dead grandma
She's making tacos & sangria tonight. I'm sure that's how the pilgrims pregamed.
Yeah, I probably scared him away when I drunkenly told him we'd have beautiful children
The 9th floor RA wants to know why we stacked 21 cinder blocks in the shower, and I can't remember. Do you?
I'm not sure, 7-8, the last bit was a rush of at least three blended together. Basically you fucked me so stupid that I can't even recall the number of orgasms.
So you know, I'm making that my facebook status.
it was good sex until i became a rubber doll and he became a jack hammer, so i guess overall it was good
My drunken abilities have only improved since college....I can navigate the streets of chicago like no ones business, do push-ups to hail a taxi and instantly become an mma fighter after 3 shots of hennessy
Well be careful man. Be careful. Wear shoes in the house. Safety. Safety first, then teamwork.
Nhl reached an agreement. I plan on getting me some celebratory sex from a hockey player.
So I don't know, I'm not a doctor, but I might be juggling dates with 3 different guys...
I'm getting 800 nuggets from McDonald's
Randomize
