Dude, she had a vegina. I felt like Indiana Jones cutting a path through the jungle.
Too much gin, very little bucket
Terrible. Enormous nipples with a small ring of boob on the outside. It looked like a tittie eclipse
So then I sent a pic msg of the Magnum XL box to her friend
When else am I ever going to have a chance to do lines with T-Pain?
I love you. I'm too high for this. Find a way. Make it happen. Live strong.
I repeat the shot was ON FIRE. I am never going to a pirate bar again.
I succsesfully kept my nipples in my dress all night. Even when I got in a fight. I was made for the bar.
I left a care package of Jack Daniel's, pancake mix and porn in your apartment. Merry fucking Christmas.
I am broke enough to accept it. If I get poisoned, you can have my shoes
It was so weird. She left to go to the bathroom and her older sister leaned towards me with a creepy smile and said, "You don't deserve her" and then continued to stare at me with a crazy expression for the rest of the evening.
That's kinky shit dude.
I'm going for high school drunk, you've got 15 minutes to get here.
I'm pricing out a roll of that wax butcher paper. We fuck too messy and I can't afford to wash them every afternoon.
Invite that kid who wants to become a priest. I WANT ON.
You also hate cartoons and musicals, so I will take that to mean the movie was as awesome as I thought it was..smoke weed
Randomize
