Where did you get a picture of my penis
I was at circle k buying gas and this girl in a papa johns uniform comes up and is like " I've got a bunch of extra pizzas. Large peperoni for $5." then she went to her trunk and pulled one out. It felt like a drug deal for a fat person
I feel like sober is me a distant relative that I only see on christmas..
went to the bathroom to piss, saw puke in the toilet thought wtf i dont remember puking, then turned around to find a chick i've never seen before passed out in my shower.
NEW RULE: NO INNAPROPRIATE CHOICES THAT INVOLVE GUNS. I LIKE IT. WRITE THAT DOWN.
We are getting high tomorrow and being statues at the cafeteria. Come find us.
How was the party? Lets put it this way: "He wants her dick" was a factual sentence stated last night.
My gut feeling that we had reached a new level of intimacy last night was confirmed early this morning when you sleep farted on penis.
I know it's like I wanna bring somebody fun who I haven't drunkenly expressed my feelings for. Or hooked up with. It's a struggle.
I don't know which I need first...a shower or a confessional.
I bought Plan B for the first time and an interview outfit today. You could say my life is improving.
That was the first time I ever heard of a female getting road head while driving... thanks for the memory and making me happy ending..
Last night when we banged she had nothing else on but socks that said 'property of Jesus' on them.
The first thing you did was give us a tour of the house and showed us who was "on-limits" and "off-limits"
Why do all my exes just become Tom Hanks in Castaway?
That's a fantastic question. And an odd set of criteria to meet if wanting to date you.
Randomize
