If it looks like I didn't change from last night, it's because I didn't.
you broke a plate. told her her wedding china was ugly and you were doing her a favor. then proceeded to break every plate you could get your hands on.
This girl just texted me asking me to drop her cheese. What the fuck for that mean?
This is one of those times I wish I had a time machine so I could go back and punch myself in the face to make me realize what I need to do before it's too late
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We watched scrubs, then I got a shower blowjob which led to shower sex and the living room floor sex. Now she's baking cookies. I may not be studying, but I'm doing something right.
and if planning a fake elopement keeps me from fucking strangers and doing drugs, i think it's good for me
everything in the house taste like gin even the water, friday nite was a success
Currently hot boxing a fort I made on our snow day... This is legendary
I think I used my hospital ID to cut the coke last night. I need to swab it for residue at work today.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I went to the strip club tonight. I had never gone, and in a panic I gave the dancer giving me a lap dance a handshake and introduced myself. Redefines business casual.
Don't judge me 👊🏼 his dick just whispers my name
Dude... the time we have in life to be young and trivial is so incredibly short. I think we should drink tonight.
You could cut the tension with my nipples.
I'm intrigued by how his mouth tasted the same as his dick.
you stood in front of the mirror for 20 minutes and finally said, "he can hear everything i'm saying inside my head. we need to leave." now try and tell me there is no such thing as too high.
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