My co-worker just asked me if i colored my hair. Time to take a shower.
I love online classes. Spent the last part of my lecture taking apart a teabag and filling it with weed.
She asked if my windows were tinted enough for road head.
All i remember is people cheering me on to drink faster than the dog, out of the dog's bowl. I just couldn't stop.
Woke up on the kitchen floor cuddling with the dummy we made of you. Hope your internship is going well.
i get of class at 4. it takes me 17 minutes to walk home and 3 to load a bowl. thank you, priority registration.
then she said she was half-a-virgin and that she would appreciate it if i would finish what her old booty call started
She ate the cookie then went to the emergency room. Now her fam is pressing charges. Don't people understand you DON'T steal baked goods from potheads??
as much as i want to say no i cant cause i need the trophy wife training
I wish my brain had a "congrats you just defeated the munchies" notification!
if i can hear my landlord's phone ring you think be can hear my vibrator?
I also fell asleep on the side of a tree so like I hit my lowest point there but it was a good time
Not as bad as when you were sitting in the pond getting fed water
I just watched my mom pour beer into her vodka and drink it.
1) break up with him. 2) feel bad. 3) fuck some other guy. 4) feel better. Boom! Life plan. You're welcome.
We told the cop that we were playing soccer, in flip flops, and 2:30 in the morning. It was raining and i had board shorts on. He bought it, lets go get drunk
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