He ignores my calls like im some kind of stalker chick
Ive only called 5 times
by the end of the night i am guaranteed to have less of a face than Seal....
but instead of smelling like hand cream and homemade cookies, she smells like a yeast infection.
You have problems? I'm 20 years old and i'm balding
don't worry about the poodle she's always like that. she's like 14 years old and ate a bag of weed when she was a puppy.
You'd be surprised at how many crooked penises are out there
Question: should I be considering heels or is this the kind of night where I should plan on falling on my face regardless of my choice of footwear?
dude, you declined head because you wanted to tell her about how you put cinnamon in your weed. also, we're low on Chef Boyardee
I really just want to eat 20 mcnuggets and slap everyone with the box when I'm done.
I woke up naked in her room. More precisely, I woke up naked in her room with her and her sister laughing at my penis. I hate my life.
Hello my rib-scented angel!
Just got a blow job from a woman on a ski slope. She said ski'ing frightens her and giving head calms her down. Glad I could help ma'am!
Greattt I just sexted my dad trying to write u back
I just got through airport security with 5 grams of weed in my back pocket. Either I deserve a metal or the government is slacking
You are not allowed to sing ever again, my ears are still ringing.
Randomize
