Hey theres a creepy ass guy stalking our house.i would look alive geting in 2nite.
I didn't slap you in the face. TEQUILA slapped you with my hand...
I'm so ready for finals. She finally agreed to skypesex me from spain so now i'm up until 4am studying every morning waiting for her to get online
Oh god. It's my first day here, I'm still drunk and somebody just drifted in a forklift. I'm going to die.
i dont know what to do
with your life?
no, with my silly bandz, im already wearing 3
We've shared an experience, my friend. I, too, have talked on the phone with a parent while giving a handjob
It's a piss down the stairs of the hotel kind of night
It was so cute that he apologized for getting cum on my couch. If he realized how many guys had cum on that couch in the past year, he wouldn't have touched my vagina with a 10-ft pole.
Dude. You stood in a corner laughing your ass off while folding clothes, facing the wall. Yes, they were weed brownies..
This means I've slept with 2 ppl that live in vans...my life is complete
I just almost caught my floor on fire, then decided I could put it out with my knuckles! So I'm doing good!
A homeless man gave him a blanket and an ambulance drove him to sarahs...
We are gonna have a bake sale and the preceded will go towards the abortion
you know its getting late when the "nevers" are turning into "maybe"
And I broke things off with Justin last night. Except I texted him while he was asleep and then I was like well, that's probably not what he wants to wake up to, so I sent him a picture of the coconut I microwaved and caught on fire when I was really high one time.
Randomize
