I un-blacked out around 7am watching J.lo videos on youtube
You were waisted for 48 hours and the only 3 words you said were yup, sure, and michigan
Which genius got me a voicemail of myself puking?
He was in Alberta for less than a week and is already banned from 6 bars. I fear for his general well-being over there.
Well I don't know him that well so I don't think I can give advice. You should make him a cake. Or have sex with him.
Downside to Halloween: you can't tell if the guy dressed as Gene Simmons from KISS that keeps flirting with you is hot or not...I decided to err on the side of caution and assume not...
I told him I was gunna have sex with him in both of our cars at the same time.
Is it festive if I masturbate to Santa porn?
you don't understand it took me an hour and a half to escape that bed, I had to memorize his sleeping patterns.
He called me khaleesi while I rode his dick. He wins
listen I need taco bell and an orgasm within the next hour. I'll leave the order in which you provide those things up to you
You casually put your finger in my ass and other people are weird..
.......he just venmo charged me for the burrito I was eating while he broke up with me
Mom said it is up to us to plan Thanksgiving. Hooters or Scores?
Or???
I'll give you some leg action but I'm not showing you anything else until your penis admits it loves me
Randomize
