I think they gave out some kind of ugly girl scholarship I don't know about...
I'm not inviting you over anymore if my cat keeps ending up in the freezer...
apparently when the FedEx truck drove by, we tried to chase it down thinking they were delievering a 30 pack...great night.
I dont want to tell you. Lets just say that a lot of things are reminding me of your dick right now
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then you gave the doctors and nurses bloody high fives
Are we responsible for the snowmen doing it doggy-style in my front yard?
And then I asked the bartender for my third shot and he told me he had to cut me off at two because this was in fact a family fun center
We just started the day with vitamin bombs. Daily vitamin + whatever's left in your glass from last night = feel like a champion
I just can't deal with that sentence
She said I looked exactly like my dad. Then she made out with me. Should I be questionable?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just took a shot of tequila with a random guy at the supermarket. Happy cinco de fourth.
we gave you a glass of water and you just started yelling: TWO STRAWS, PATS AN ENGINEER HE'LL FIGURE IT OUT
Well yeah connect the two together, then you can lay down and drink.
I have to remind myself to breathe. That hungover.
We don't have the same problems as normal people do we?
he just fluffed my hair and told me I had to dance with him because we were both gingers.
Fly, little bird! Repopulate the ginger race!
I sense lesbianism
That's a weird power
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