Nope changed our mind. Decided your strange bacon like body odor wasn't what we want to smell tonight.
Rule #1. Nothing comes between you and fantasy sports. Not even a hot chick willing to give you a blow job
You were so drunk last night you typed www.face.come/cheese.com as if you were logging into facebook.
Shaking her cervix like it's the hottest ticket around
The National Anthem was on so I had to have a beer
Ah, I knew it wouldn't be long before my boobs were introduced into the conversation.
you threw up into the pocket of your shirt. which was pretty damn polite
I want to be stormed in. I want to be stuck there. I want to climb a pyramid of strippers to safety
Does this mean I don't have to apologize for launching about 20 bead necklaces at you from the balcony?
Just applied for assistance with paying my hospital bill from my alcohol poisoning at age 16 while still a little drunk from last night. What is my life.
Circle of life?
I just need to find a good handlebar mustache to sit on until I'm over that beard
The dicks good but it's not two trains and a bus good.
His truck was very sexy. Unfortunately, shortly thereafter, I discovered that the whole overcompensating thing is very true...
Right now I'm laying face down on my carpet in my living room in the darkness sending work emails from my phone.
It's a glamorous life.
Some sorority went “Dick or Treating” at a frat house and now the Halloween parties are canceled
Randomize
