I just found out the FDA voted to ban Vicodin, my last connection to this world has been destroyed
You make shower sex sound like waterboarding
btw found the cat. he didn't appreciate the toilet bath.
I have too much pride to pick his chest hair out of my mouth again
You misunderstood me....i wasnt asking and it is not negotiable
You're making this sound more like a hostage situation than a booty call.
True but, who really needs money in europe? Just barter with sexual favors. A bowl of cereal is worth a blowjob.
I brought a guy home then decided no. Took him back to the bar and said "I'm going to drop you where I found you. Have fun"
I mean there are things broken right and left, I woke up surrounded by dog statues, and we had a vodka bubble bath.
I had to hypnotize my roommate last night so there's that.
Just woke up and spent the first hour of consciousness throwing up with the Rocky theme song on repeat.
He's like a father figure to me, except we have casual drunk sex every now and then
Say what you want about my van, but I've got more action there than in my apartment. A body pillow and a joint still go a long way!
This weekend I turned down sex to watch the Star Wars marathon... Is this growing up?
not sure if actually covered in glitter or just drunk
Pretty sure I scared her away last night by putting a vodka tampon in my ass
Randomize
