no you cant smoke seaweed
A cab driver remembered me by name, address, and ex fuck buddys nick name from a year ago. I mustve been one memorable shit show.
It's like alcoholism for beginners at my kitchen table.
I stayed at the bar and helped clean up cause I was told I'd get free shots. Didn't happen.
I ended up on the roof were calling it a tie
Haha, you kept saying the cop was going to give you a ride home b/c "that's his job, it's summer."
Just warning you the last time I had captain Morgan I gave a blow job to a guy that looked like Jesus.
May or may not have just lost a contact hanging out Anthony's sunroof. Drunk. Hint: I can only see out of one eye right now.
I broke a glass at the bar and ended up with blood on my forehead. I apparently kept screaming BLOOD like the little boy in that YouTube video.
i may or may not have triedto pee like a boy and then dipped cheese ino the olive oil
If a clean cut ginger with a flannel and tattoos shows up at the apartment, he is allowed inside.
Well, the night started out with you ALMOST falling out of a tree. Then we went back to the tree after about 9 shots and you DID fall out of the tree.
Not only did I sleep with the guy but I think I may have called my work and quit to go work for him.
Dude, she was there with her husband and I was there with my wife. Of course we banged in the bathroom.
Tell me you're alive little brother. And please tell me you didn't get arrested. You made no fucking sense last night in your random texts and pictures you were sending me.
Randomize
