they were just spraying pledge on themselves and calling it lemon cologne.
Would you want me to push you down the stairs OR throw you a baby shower?? Real talk
the orgasm was like being thrown to the other end of reality, so getting a nosebleed from it wasnt too upsetting at that point
2000 dollars has been put in for bail money. Also we're signing contracts
He said he would pay my bar tab if he couldn't answer my question. He lost to the age old question of our youth. Why did pogs go out of style.
turns out putting a tie on my unicorn onesie didn't make it acceptable "formal wear" and I found salsa in my cup holder
I found pix on her phone of me passed out and her sticking things up my ass. Its over.
I'm almost too old to be on The Real World but feel like I'm too young to be on The Bachelor and I'm just really confused with my place in life.
I slept naked last night on stolen pillows. I felt like a golden goddess.
Is a coke binge Whole30 approved?
Do not buy a prego test at the Walgreens you frequent. It's awkward. Just trust me.
There's a random table in the kitchen...and it's not the kitchen table...we don't know where it came from
I watched a compilation video today of a guy banging his sex doll to edm music. I just had to tell someone.
They gave my sperm a pep talk after they found out we were trying.to have.a baby.
Oh I had the weirdest dream in which I was an archeologist stealing a golden dildo from a snobby British person
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