Wooohooo! I'm sitting in the car like a creep watching people walk in and out of Blush. Lots of happy people.
He passed out mid-signature
I wish you'd make everyone's lives easier and do him already. Then we can get rid of him.
Strip club for my birthday. And none of this discrimination shit. We're going to a guys one and girls one. Go get your singles.
he told me i could have the honorable privilege of being the second girl to have sex with him in his new apartment, what a gentleman.
Literally just saw a 7 year old intently rub his penis on the metro. I'm not ready for this
He has been feeding me cheesecake and candy for breakfast. Naked. For three days. How am I ever going to leave????
I'm glad your nude photos turned out "classy" but you cannot hang them in the living room.
You ever feel like just rubbing your face in everything like a dog?
You were trust falling into bushes
He got up in the middle of the show and returned with this massive ham shank, then offered me some by asking "wanna suckle on my hog." Should I be offended?
All I remember is being in the middle of the road puking and my bestfriend cheering me on from the passenger seat...
She complained to dominos last night for hanging up on her, and then she wrote "fuck you dominos" on the receipt when we got our pizza
So we are banned from the campus dominos
I’m photoshopping my boobs to up my Tinder game. I need better dick in 2020
Apparently I told the mayor I want to be a trophy wife
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