found a naked boy completely buried under a pile of her clothes and terrified...she says she was "saving him for later"
Awesome morning. I just met my boyfriend's wife, should I have shaken her hand or was the hug a tad over the top?
He pretended my clit ring was a door knocker.
I sang Jenna happy bday in the middle of throw up hurls
If it was designed to hold water, it was designer to hold wine
The main two things I remember from last night is you "spanking Katey into reality" and watching her barf in terror.
I'm going to have to start playing roller derby again so I can blame my sex-related bruises on that.
Currently sitting in the movie theatre bathroom while she gives him a blowjob in the parking lot. Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend.
If you're funny as hell and have a mustache, odds are I'm probably gonna fuck you
he was definitely tindering while i gave him head
When you licked the fourth stranger's cheek the bar tender pretty much ordered us to get you out.
Don't be the guy that has his dick out at work.
I just used my citation as a bookmark. Want a beer?
If there was a category for "most likely to end up a serial killer" in your high school yearbook then I'm sure you would have won it
I started crying during a meeting at work and now I'm sitting on my couch drinking boxed wine at 1:30 in the afternoon. Fuck you too estrogen.
Randomize
