I just got called an ass for saying no thanks to a Greenpeace solicitor. I don't want the whales to die but I do want Greenpeace to fail. Conundrum.
I am not deleting the internet history anymore, now I am going for shock value.
vegan vag taste different. and not a good different
screw it, I'll just be a stripper until next August when then are looking for suitable teachers to teach the future of America. it's like a feel good movie just a little out of order and im a dude.
When I said to shut up, I meant it. I'm sorry you have a bald spot now, but it was necessary.
If I asked you to guess what I'm doing right now how many guesses would it take to get to really high eating an apple bumping techno
Our group of friends now have more broken bones than reasonable excuses for why they're broken.
Just made a bong out of a pineapple. So yes.. And champagne is about to be popped
SO HELP ME GOD THERE IS A SPIDER IN THIS PIZZA. IT IS VERY SMALL IT IS INSIDE THE CRUST AND IT IS ALIVE. I'M SO HUNGRY DO I KEEP EATING
It was marvelous. I was drunkenly conversing with my professor in some of the best Spanish I've ever spoken.
My orifices are off limits as long as you have that stache. Your call.
Headphones came off my phone same time as The Weeknd sang "Who's gonna fuck you like me?"...Everyone at work heard it.
Riddle me this: How does one check in at the Marriott, but wake up at the W?
We found him sitting in the back of the club crying into a strippers lap. She told us he missed his pet frog and to come back later.
I have to close one eye, because I don't wanna see two movies, I only want to see one.
Randomize
