i would punch a child for taco bell
I just put on my hot pinky lace thong... you know what that means! ;)
Oh god. Slutty you is on the run. Someone needs to alert the city.
U know u have sex too much when u have lube in ur rolliball on ur blackberry
haha I love it when I find out that girls who were mean to me in middle school are now some random dude's baby mama. thanks, facebook.
you can't just make up for the fact that you broke up with me by tagging yourelf in my embarrassing facebook videos of you
just when i thought i had forgotten how badthe sex was he comes across campus solely to say hi
you're being stingy. if you didnt want people to have sex on your couch, you shouldve specifically said so.
Selling drugs in raindeer antlers is the best way to spread christmas cheer
Oh, I never thought you were a dick. You were one of the best morally comprised ideas I've ever had.
The cop let me finish my J before he cuffed me. Coolest arresting officer ever.
In related news, I couldn't want to blow you more if your dick made harmonica noises.
She has dubbed herself the Pied Piper of Penis and keeps yelling about getting Cocktober started... Will send pix soon
just bought myself a "your about to get violated in every way so you deserve this chipotle" steak bowl.
ORGASMS AND PIZZA
PIZZA AND ORGASMS
I bought 10 disposable adhesive bras and duct tape. If Home Depot can't help my breasts defy gravity, nothing will...
LMAO
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