Just looked at my outgoing calls. Seems I had a 7 minute convo with my 10th grade english teacher at 2:56 am Saturday...
It was an awkward 3some. I took her from behind while he just made out with her.
How did you get the entire couch up on it's side and into the bathroom?
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i loe djcudia fjxos rue.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She. Own s my pussycat. Roxk it like. The sun hitting the horizon
It's christmas eve and my mom blacked out before me. If she beat me at that, what have I been learning at college?
As far as drugs go, alcohol has all the elegance and precision of hitting yourself in the head with a hammer.
He's bought his dick a cell phone. A cell phone. For his dick...
He gave me the number and told me that I if I want to hook up again, I have to call his penis.
I'll be home next weekend. Its mothers day. Let's party just enough so we are frightened it might be our first
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Rule 1: If any of us dies on a trip, the other two have to 'Weekend at Bernies' the shit outta that corpse...
This really high kid past out in the corner of the room holding a box of cheez its in his arm. My idol.
At some point the phrase "I've hit rock bottom" stopped having a meaning and became my general state of life
you bet i'm gonna rock his four-foot-two world.
Oh yeah, nothing says welcome home like walking in on your parents having sex on your bed while the dog is watching, they told me to wait until they were done...
I'll get the most aesthetic strap on, you'll see
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