I got wasted for the 1st time and I sat in a fridge for 2 hours and a trash can?
dude sorry but u no that when a guys 'likes' ur pic on facebook it only means he was just jacking off to it.
If youre the one that ate my brownies this morning I only have two things to say to you
Those had pot in them
And good luck on your interview asshole
I think whatever his name is just puked on the stairs. Just an fyi for the morning. Love you.
We had to coat check the pizza.
Take my keys. Load me into the vehicle. Drive. Get food. Come back. These are my demands.
Dude...that line about her giving me a blowjob to get rid of her hangover actually got rid of her hangover. Spread the word.
I have no idea. But I feel like I could climb a mountain and then have sex on it.
And we're now at 8 people from the office coming to my desk to ask me "do you feel better?".
Don't be too mad at the guy who broke your kitchen table. Didn't get his name, but he knew all about your gay porn career. Like DETAILS...
I tried to have sex on someone's sisters horse last night
After my second liter of German beer, nothing D-cup or larger is safe near me.
Don't remember anything. Melissa just said I kept saying welcome to the bat cave
I just had a flashback to us shaking up Gatorade mix and then inhaling it in your kitchen because it was funny. Now I can't stop laughing in work because that is the stupidest shit.
Why is there a whip in the kitchen?
Randomize
