But honestly u used to be a cool guy and lately uve been superame(734): Superlame
Report just came out that Tim Tebow is a virgin but I have proof he is not. He's bent Florida State over the last four years in a row.
She told me that she had to rub her face against me because she was part cat.
So I decided to start saving money for my abortion in a tomato sauce jar because it says ‘Prego.’ I know I thought it was fucking genius!
You guys need to stop introducing me as "the girl you shared"
Romer got arrested for getting in a bar fight with a bus boy because he was trying to steal a keg, had it all the way to the car
I found out that my first kiss was an Italian. Even in kindergarden i knew size mattered.
Please call me back as soon as your phone is charged, if you die tonight I don't want the last thing I said to you to be "I just farted a little"
2nd year in a row being a arrested before school starts...tradition at its finest
Listen man, there's two things I know about in life: porn and sound. On a day that I'm wearing khakis, I need you to trust that I know what the fuck I'm doing.
so like
i may have gotten a little bit of blood in the charging port of my phone
You pee in parking lots....i drive home naked.....thats the american dream i was promised
When he identified himself as captain clitoris i knew my night was fucked.
hey if my parents say thanks for the meatballs just go with it ill explain later
So you realized he wasn't actually cheating on you and now you're trying to unfuck things. Or in this case unfuck Tom.
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