this guy at work is bossing me around at work. He is 24 and still has highlights and spikes his hair.
You're getting bossed around by a 1999 Highschool Yearbook picture?
Buying beer for freshmen. No matter what they ask for, I'm getting them Colt 45.
You were sitting at the bus stop holding hands with some Polish girl you just met, who was just as drunk as you were, and you kept trying to light your Kit Kat and smoke it.
then he pulled down his pants, and i just stared for about a minute..... i was so confused. i didnt know my cat could have a bigger penis than an 18 year old man.
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I was so high I thought there were pigeons in my room. Long story short there are now donut crumbs all around my bedroom.
a kid who worked there came up to me and let me know you were sitting in the bathroom sink. he said it was fine, so i just kept checking on you.
was it good sex?
i mean it was good for how drunk we were. and for how big the closet was
You destroyed the landscape if my vagina FOREVER.
Im calling him
was mistake calling. If you drunk dial someone you deserve to choke on a tubesock. Take the advice. Always remember
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I just call them the hipster frat because they wear shirts other than pastel polos and listen to MGMT while playing dice.
he attacked my vagina with the force of a thousand suns
I can't remember dinner
Hahaha "rub in the ketchup on your face, It'll just look like blush." some gay waiter said that to you, and you go "good idea!"
We had a quickie at work in the office. He walked out before me, and I fell asleep while waiting a few minutes to walk out. Yeah. He's got that change your life dick
just because i'm not a monk anymore doesn't mean I need to tell you about my new sex life.
which is fantastic by the way.
Yea he was still drunk. He wore a Toga to his job interview.
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