His second form of ID was an emergency room wristband from an hour ago. What the fuck is going on right now
Haha yeah he had an allergic reaction to the alcohol earlier. He thinks that if he only drinks vodka he will be ok...
Were not alcoholics, were just impatient for fridays
She wont be able to take it all. I'll use a shoe horn to get it in if I have to.
He just turned 21, it's very obvious the end of their relationship is near. Now we play the waiting game.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Although I am concerned about who made the decision to let you loose in a bridal show I am proud to see you in a sombero again.
He leaned over in the middle of the movie and said "My dick's name is Juan". WHO DOES THAT?
My eyes feel like they're throwing up and I am the only human on campus
the bruises from climbing out of the window last night make sitting at my desk impossible. legit excuse to not study right?
sending him nudies in gran's hospital bathroom. you?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i just called my dad a bottom. he agreed
Now I have to set an alarm for less than 6 hours from now to wake her up, get her showered and get her to her first day of tutoring a kid from her church. WTF is my life?
Take a shit and have a hit. It's the Sunday Funday Rule.
You just managed to turn Doctor Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
Honestly I volunteered because the email made it sound like it was a once in a lifetime opportunity to be a sexual spy kid.
Just realized I've spent more nights sleeping on bathroom floors the last two weeks than in my own bed. It's time to reevaluate my life.
Randomize