why do all the strippers look like they came from fraggle rock
I miss old school porno. There just isn't any love in porn these days.
He sent me a pic and IT CURVED OUT OF THE PICTURE! Curved. Out. Of. The. Picture.
I have blocked the memory from my mind. He is just a fuzzy cloud floating with my other bad decisions..
don't worry i just saved a song to my personal usb drive to give to the dj at the bar. he's playing old school jlo whether he likes it or not.
Ugh I just wanna make an announcement like: Attention high school classmates: if we haven't spoken in 5 years, we don't need to start now. Please be on your way
I just puked my brains out on the side of the road (see picture) And I took a picture for our scrapbook! I am always thinking! =) tell me your proud?!
you said I shouldn't try to fill the void in my meaningless life with dicks but i am trying and it totally works
My manager said you offered to make out with him to ensure I keep my job if I didn't show up to work today
i tried giving myself a bikini wax.1. i hate you 2. i think i'm dying
I don't think you understand...I'm really good at getting drunk
Worst case scenario- he paid me for sex with meatloaf. There are worse thing, right? I mean at least is was good meatloaf.
The oven caught fire. I put it out, but called the fire department just to make sure it was okay since the smoke wasn't going away
You just wanted to meet firemen
learning about efficiency and effectiveness in an administration seminar. real world application: walking across the street to the pub on break to shotgun a beer.
My debit card was between my ass cheeks when i woke up. i vaguely remember putting it there for safe keeping
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