you were calling yourself Ulickes S. Cunt.
Why do i always get involved with 3 women at once?
Because life brings drama and thus like moths to a flame, women
He has been begging me for a Bj but doesnt want to get mono
How is he gunna get mono? is he gunna suck on his dick after you?
officially spring now- first drug bust of the season across the street.
you were drinking a pitcher of what you called "16 loko" and making everybody guess what the secret ingredient was
sometimes when i'm drunk i choose the spanish option on the ATM to challenge myself.
Sunday is a myth, I refuse to believe that I waste an entire day unable to function after a night of drinking.
I'm at the point in my life where I'm trying to get guys I've fucked to give a ride to guys I'm going to fuck.
Before we fucked we both mutually agreed not to tweet about it.
This cabbie knows where I live. Both awesome and weird.
If we order a pizza and I contribute 9 cents, is that fair?
At this point all my Tinder matches are telling me I'll be fucking the whole male population of UMass '17.
The batteries in my vibrator died before I could finish. Which is a lot like my sex life lately......
On a scale from 1-10 how fucked up would it be to buy weed with my fafsa money?
It's a study aid
I'm with the cops, Trish's gay husband stabbed himself and is framing her for attempt of murder and I'm dressed 4 the club I'm wearing leather pants leather jacket leather boots and black club top. Embarrassed
Randomize
