This cookie i'm eating tastes like pizza. It was so worth contacting my sister for pot.
it really sends the message that i like to impregnate mortal women and have them birth fantastic half man-half god infants.
that shirt you're wearing that says "officially single" makes me think you'll be that way for a really long fucking time.
She got her phone back last night. And the first thing I sent her was a picture of me pooping in a culvers bathroom
The girl who overdosed in the bathroom at work is back....help?
Was awful. Wedding photos taken by a river with used syringes floating past. Had to ask the bride to put down a can of rum to have her photo taken.
sleazy september. first one with mono loses.
it was either a cry for help or you were gargling vodka. we didnt care either way.
I've hit an all time low I just sent a boob pict to fat Randall the one I gave a partial bj to a year a a half ago
I ripped my favorite jeans crossing that fence
That sucks
It's an upgrade! I didn;t even have to unzip my pants to pee!
But think about it. I could put her gold medal around my penis
I put ketchup in a girls hair last night. I need a sorry balloon
What's more sad than going to Target to buy Plan B and the new Sam Smith album?
I just want cinnabon and vodka.
These business classes have improved my drug business ten fold
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