upper decked the toilet at the restaurant that wouldn't let me pee there yesterday
just cuze she's 16 doesn't mean it's illegal to add her on facebook
He's sobering up. It was really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together.
I seriously might throw up right now. In class. Sunglasses on. I'm getting too old for this.
Walking in to my alcoholic Assessment meeting with a black eye = 40% awkward 60% awesome
My arms are still sore. Apparently, lube wrestling is the best workout ever.
And then you asked me why my legs were so thick and started measuring them with a ruler
I totally intended to come to the hotel, but I woke up in a parking lot
The struggle is real.
He just made my one night stand pancakes for breakfast. And I thought living with my ex was going to be weird.
If anyone remembers any details of tonight please address concerns to my lawyer. This is a mass text.
What! You have to go to class. Otherwise, you're wasting money that could have been spent on weed. Gotta get that shit in perspective.
I opened my bookbag to put my laptop in and I found two granola bars and a pregnancy test. I am clearly prepared for life
You have to just make a conscious effort not to make out with people when he's around if you want to keep him in your life?
Sooooo drunk. We had the best sex ever and after he looked at me and said "That's whats up". I looked at him weird and he said "Young Jeezy would say it" and passed out on me naked. I think i might be in love
I wanna suck that fisherman's dick.
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