i'm so hungover...i might vomit in a handbag instead of selling them
I just puked in an auto zone parking lot. I'm never eating peanut butter and red wine for dinner again.
Then all the boys were saying that they were amazed at how much i could smoke...i'm so proud of myself
fuck. did you have to draw it on me with a permanent marker
I just saw a hobo ride by on a unicycle. Good day.
I just rubbed my dick on something in your apartment. Can you guess what?
I just took a bite of a bagel at school and it tasted like weed. If I am high for my test in 2 hours I'm gonna kick someones ass
last night i found out that my 11 year old cousin used me as an example of what not to do in her D.A.R.E. speech. awesome.
should my break up email to my English professor be in MLA format?
Blacked in riding a tandem bicycle with a stranger. We stopped for hot dogs.
My dick hurts from so many people grabbing it last night. We're not going back to that club
No more margaritas for you. Also, tequila should be reclassified as a hallucinogen.
I just fell and sprained my ankle in the shower. No, I wasn't having sex. I was doing the time warp. Again.
I slept like a rock because of your dick. I'll thank him personally later.
Quick question: now that you've broken up, should I also delete the nudes your boyfriend sent me while you were together??
Randomize
