I just peed or puked all or around my parjibgb lot.
parking. I am not drunk
it's like everything I expected to see tonight all put together in one at once
that is the greatest description ever
pretty sure mid blowjob I told him I needed to call you and ask you if this was whore-ish. He hid my phone from me.
During the middle of giving him head, he flashes his phone and says "I like to watch."
Found out why I didn't have to go drug test. My boss grew pot to pay for grad school.
guy just got out of the car at the drive in and told his girlfriend "fuck you and your taco" and walked off
Well, my nose won't stop bleeding from really bad cocaine and my purse is full of plastic gold coins. Also, someone saved in my phone as "tyrannosaurus sex" won't quit texting me. Savannah won. Let's put it that way.
I just found a video of you asking to be a whale with me.
Just promise me you wont die... or hook up with an old asian lady playing slots
Cant promise that last part. I won't die though
WHY did you say no to the sex seance?
I was giving him a blowjob but we had to stop because he started crying when his cat walked in and started staring at us
He poured champagne on my pussy while he ate me out. I found my unicorn.
I responded with revoking his blow job privileges. Needless to say, he's learned his lesson.
can you tell me why i woke up in a diaper and combat boots?
You were licking skittles to check if they were "halucinateizers" so no, you are not leaving the house while on antibiotics.
Randomize
