these two guys are about to go shot for shot with syrup
now he is talking to a potato
so i woke up.. still drunk and discovered my roommate in the living room passed out dick-in-hand watching porn..
What did u do?
turned the porn up and opened the windows so everybody goin to class could see him..
The freshman next to me just said "I was rocking out on my way here to Dave Matthews..." I wish I would have passed this class the first time.
Pretty certain he passed out for a while going down on me. Absolutely certain he passed out during the blow job.
I have a date tonight... Like a real date... Not the kind where you just go over to his house and have sex and then never speak again.
Also, I imagined that his bacne was bubblewrap and that made it much more tolerable
I think that means you're growing up...when your coke nail becomes your opening mail nail.
and if planning a fake elopement keeps me from fucking strangers and doing drugs, i think it's good for me
He kept singing Happy Birthday to himself, yelling at the bouncers for not letting him in, and telling them his "father will hear of this." He was like a drunken Scottish Draco Malfoy.
This is my punishment for trynna have a festive time with a stranger. I always forget you can't get weird with one night stands
Took pain meds with RumChata this morning. It's like morning milk but better
I think my sex life is about to turn into a war on two fronts
Damn him and his beautiful face and body and penis.
Don't forget my pants whenever you come over, otherwise we can't get in.
I had sex while watching Lord of the Rings last night. I think I just reached a new level of nerd.
Randomize
