Sorry, I have to go home and feed my nepotisms
Sorry, I can't talk, there's a herd of nepotisms headed my way
He's still on the phone with him. This is unnatural. Dudes don't call other dudes just to talk.
She looks like Sash Grey but sounds like Fran Drescher. Advise.
I am swimming in semen. He must have been holding it in for a special occasion.
Let me just inform you of my purse contents right now. Three cum rags, a sock full of cum, xanax, and a fake moustache. This is my life.
I want the one making out with the dumpster. Is that bad?
On a toatally unrelated note, I see music in my hair
Drink a bottle I wine by yourself? Treat yo self
Hey, don't think you remember me but we met last night. I'm conducting a survey this morning its only one question: Have you seen Rob since 1am?
I'm sorry, the person you're trying to reach is WAYYY too high to deal with this right now.
I'm so sexually frustrated I feel like I'm going to kill my turtle
Jk probs not coming. Tequila
If my plane goes down do me a favor. Break into my house and get the batman costume and swing out of my bedroom.
Apparently I bought a laptop last night, then gave the laptop to a friend who was going to give it to her friends' friend to put some cool shit on it. Anyway, I have no idea where my new laptop is now.
If you wanna fuck the pudding, fuck the pudding. Just not the chocolate, Im gonna eat that.
Randomize
