We just saw a waitress walk by with a tray of bacardi and whipped cream.
Whoever ordered that deserves a pat on the back and the "classiest customer" award
maybe i get so drunk and make stupid mistakes cuz Subconsiously im preparing for my real world debut
you kept talking about how hot andy milinakis is and the things you would do with him. no more tequila from him.
I drove to Chevron at noon and the Hatian lady goes "Oh, nothing to drink yet white boy?"
You fuck like a mechanic. That is the universe telling you that is your true calling. Take this as a sign.
Dude. Remember the only two rules I set for that? Always have a sober friend and don't do drugs with a fat chick.
Anal and Aoki tickets...I'd say I give pretty good Valentines Day gifts.
You were mean to me and you broke my heart and hurt my feelings. You dont get to talk to me about Peter Dinklage
How the fuck did we end up at a strip club last night.. We started the night playing bingo at a church
I can see their wedding vows now: 'Til basicness do us part
Happy 4 year arrest-aversary! I promise no thanksgiving has been as eventful as that one haha..
Just calm down. My foot long super joint and I will be over shortly.
um care to explain the stolen chinchila under greg's bed..i'd be fine with it if it wasnt chewing up the stash
We could have fun in a cardboard box. Think of the damage we could do at an amusement park!
He broke through his window then signed his name on the biggest peice of glass from it. I think they framed it and named it 'best party ever'
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