I asked him if he wanted to go to my place, he said i could go but he was gonna stay
It went from "haha, this will be funny" to "full blown anime porn fetish"
It never makes you rethink your life choices when you're breaking into my apartment at 3 am to take a piss in my kitchen sink?
Monday morning margarita madness at ny house. Yes before wheel of fortune. Yes day drinking.
Morning yack off the fire escape. Girl walking by was mortified. Gooooooooo Ducks!!
I want to be you.
It's times like this I miss having my nipples pinched
just walked across campus with a bottle of champagne in between my boobs. night two and the quest for classiness is already over
The other day I was really high and I felt like my words were coming out of my mouth in flowers...I don't know.
lesson learned. Never drop acid before a trip to the aquarium. Sounds awesome, is actually terrifying.
Successfully defrauded the county government. What have you done today?
Like actually I will be single and sad and lonely for ever. Cheese will be my life partner. Robot sex is my future.
I fell out of the car while it was moving then got puked on then puked and cried about then got back in the car and puked out the window when we started moving again
Let's be honest, college orientation is going to be "here's how to drink everclear"
I think I just found my soul mate...he's wearing a zebra striped onesie and is into Michael Jackson...I'll explain in the morning.
Bring shot glasses to the final. Don't ask questions.
Randomize
